I feel like I want to write about Covid-19 but I don’t really know what to say. I’m not exactly sure what my feelings are on the Pandemic. I feel like I should stay home to keep people safe but I also want to help people who are in need. I’ve read things that say you should quarantine for fourteen days if you have any of the symptoms. One of the symptoms is a cough and I seem have a cough all the time (I think it is allergies or heartburn). Since that is the only symptom I have I’m thinking I probably don’t have the Corona Virus but then I get paranoid because I don’t want to get anyone else sick. I know there are a probably a lot of people struggling financially and I want to be able to help them but I don’t know how to do that if I’m not allowed to leave the house. We are also almost out of almond milk and I’m wondering if I should buy more. It’s not really a necessity but it would be nice to not have to eat dry cereal. Of course, Dan still has to work so I could ask him to get some on his way home.
The few times I have left the house I think I should wash all my clothes and take a shower when I get home but that would probably be an overreaction. I normally just wash my hands. I’m trying not to be paranoid but I always want to keep M.J. safe. We are used to leaving the house probably at least three times a week. We go to story time, play dates, church, and life group. Right now all of those have been cancelled. I love my kid but we both really need social interaction. I don’t think M.J. noticed at first but lately he has asked, “are people gonna come over?” He just asked Dan if he could go to work with him. I said, “I’m okay with that.” I was feeling irrationally jealous of the people who are able to work from home. I wish we could all be together as a family. But I’m sure it is almost impossible for the parents who are trying to work from home full-time and also entertain/ teach their kids.
I’ve also been letting M.J. watch more T.V. lately and I feel guilty about it but I’m sure most parents have probably expanded their technology limitations during this crisis. But I am so thankful Disney Plus put Frozen II on early! I got a little break from Despicable Me 2 (with the purple minions). M.J. has been asking me to watch his movies with him lately and it so cute to interact with him and see his emerging personality. He has seen Despicable Me 2 515300908 times but he still gets excited every time. He will talk to me and ask questions about the movie. I have noticed it is possible to bond with your kid through technology as well.
I have also been thinking how blessed we are to have technology to be able communicate with each other. Last Sunday and this morning we were able to watch our church service online. Of course, I wish we could go to church but it is also kind of nice to be able to watch it together as a family. Last week, M.J. even played his drum for us during the worship songs. This morning one of the songs was Stand in Your Love by Josh Baldwin.
“My fear doesn’t stand chance when I stand in your love.”
I think that is just a fitting song for what is going on right now. No matter what happens to my family or me God is always with us. Of course I am a little anxious but I think I would be a lot more anxious if I didn’t have an amazing God to trust in.
I’m also kind of disappointed things I was planning on doing have been cancelled. I had a job interview for a job that I thought I would really like but it has been postponed until who knows when. Dan and I have also been seriously considering adopting a child. We were supposed to go to a foster care and adoption orientation but it was cancelled. The next one is supposed to be at the beginning of April and I hope that one isn’t cancelled. I know it is a little selfish to be sad these things have been cancelled/ postponed but I was really wanting to start the adoption process as soon as we could.
Although, there have been a lot of disappointments lately it has been nice to spend more time as a family. I often have volunteer activities but most of them have been cancelled which is a little disappointing but it’s nice to be able to spend more time with Dan.
We have been able to talk to each other more and Dan is always supportive and helps me talk through my anxiety and my confusion. We have relaxed and watched a lot of movies together. We also recently started doing a puzzle together. Dan also made chocolate chip cookies when I said I was craving them because he is an amazing husband. I have been getting a little stir-crazy but if that’s the worst that’s happening to me I think I am pretty blessed. I’ve really enjoyed being able to spend more time with my husband. Overall, throughout this experience I am learning to trust God more and not take my friends and family for granted. I hope everyone is staying healthy and if I am able to help with anything let me know!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not into your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV