Last night I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought to myself, I am pretty. I’m not writing about this to be conceited but because it was something I had not thought about myself for a very long time. I have struggled with very low self-esteem and it has even gotten to the point of self-loathing.
“You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful. You’re treasured, you are sacred, you are his.”- Beautiful by MercyMe
I have always had low self-esteem but I also used to be blessed with a fast metabolism. I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Of course that changed around 24 or 25 and now that I am 30 it is changing even more. Feeling hungry is also a common side effect of most antidepressants so that doesn’t help. I’m not completely happy with my weight right now but I didn’t notice that when I looked in the mirror. I smiled and thought I have a beautiful smile. Many people have told me this and Dan tells me it often but it was the first time in a long time I had felt it about myself. I have imperfections but they are part of what makes me unique.
Through therapy, reading my Bible, and having encouraging conversations with friends I am starting to love myself more. I still sometimes have to remind myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I try to see myself how God sees me. God loves me so much no matter what I have done, what I struggle with, or what I look like. God loves you, too no matter what.
If you are struggling with self-esteem or self-loathing I want to tell you are beautiful, you are loved, and you are worth it.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV