I recently read the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I didn’t think I would learn anything because I have taken the quiz quite a few times. I actually learned a lot from the chapter on gifts.
I almost skipped the gifts chapter because I knew it wasn’t mine or my husband’s love language. And I was pretty sure it wasn’t M.J.’s love language (it can be hard to tell with a 3 year old). In this chapter he explained that a gift is visual symbol of love (it doesn’t matter if it cost money). This really helped me understand this love language more. If I’m being honest it always sounded kind of materialistic to me but I realized that is not the case. If someone has a love language of gifts they are so excited when they receive a gift because they know you were thinking of them. Of course, most people like to receive gifts but it means more to some people than others.
Since my primary love language is quality time I would much rather go out to eat, go on a trip, or just spend time with my husband on special occasions like my birthday, our anniversary, or holidays. We don’t normally get each other gifts for our anniversary because they are not very important to either of us. I’m guessing some of my friends have the love language of gifts so I think reading that chapter can be useful in other relationships. It was also talking about how gifts are a part of love from a very young age.
“Mothers remember the days their children bring a flower from the yard as a gift. They feel loved, even if it was a dandelion or a flower they didn’t want picked. From early years, children are inclined to give gifts to their parents, which may be another indication that gift giving is fundamental to love.”- pg. 77
M.J. made me a boat out of his blocks and he has been wanting me to take it with me everywhere. I said, “Maybe his love language is gifts.” Dan said, “Or maybe he just think it’s your love language.”
I have been trying to figure out what M.J.’s love language is but he might still be too young to tell. Although, my guess right now is that his primary love language is quality time and his second one is physical touch. I thought that might be easy because my love language is quality time and Dan’s is physical touch. Although, I started feeling guilty again when M.J. asks me to play with him and I want to have a little time to myself. I shared this thought with my therapist and she said, “Quality time doesn’t mean all day, every day.” This was helpful to me. I guess if I spend time with M.J. all day it is not possible for it to always be quality time. I really enjoyed reading this book and decided to start reading The Five Love Languages of Children.
If you’re curious what your love http://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes language is take the quiz here: