I have been dealing with mom guilt lately. It is so irrational. Maybe if I was a more logical person instead of an emotional one I wouldn’t feel so bad. M.J. has been so clingy lately. I love him but I really don’t want to play with him All. Day. Long. I told Dan I felt mean if I didn’t play with M.J. and Dan said I need to set some boundaries. I said, “I don’t know how. I know I’m spending a lot of time with him but am I spending enough quality time with him?” Dan said, “Start with the basics, bathroom time is your time.”
I know it is completely irrational to feel mean for wanting privacy in the bathroom. If any other person tried to follow me into the bathroom I would be like, “What do you think you’re doing?!” So it is completely natural to not want my 3 year old in the bathroom with me. Why do I feel bad about this? Well, I guess partly because he normally screams and cries outside the door if I don’t let him come in with me.
Bedtime has also been a struggle lately. M.J. has been wanting me to stay in his room. He used to just go right to sleep (or at least talk to himself happily). I feel so selfish for wanting time to myself. I look forward to spending time by myself or with Dan after M.J. goes to bed. So it is kind of frustrating when bedtime takes much longer than it used to. Then I will feel guilty that I’m feeling annoyed with my son. I know it’s silly; it’s completely normal to want time to myself but I can’t let my kid cry. I know he’s not a baby anymore but I feel so bad when he cries. Maybe he knows this.
Just now, when I’m trying to write M.J. is whining because I won’t play with his puzzle with him. He is turning off my computer, taking my pen, and climbing all over me. Then I feel guilty, did I spend enough time with him today? Which is a silly thing to think because I have definitely spent a lot of quality time with him today. But, of course, I often question my parenting. I haven’t written down good things I’ve done as a mom lately, maybe I should do that tonight. Do any other moms struggle with mom guilt?
Mom guilt is so irrational
Who doesn’t want time to themselves?
Self-care is a must
The need doesn’t go away
When you become a mom
Take care of yourself