Have you ever felt like a crappy mom? No? Oh, good, neither have I. I was getting so frustrated the other night when I was trying to put M.J. to bed. He was not listening at all and I was feeling sick and didn’t feel like dealing with him. It is so stressful when my son throws a tantrum. I know you don’t want to go to bed. I don’t want to put you to bed either but sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. When he finally got in bed he asked why we weren’t reading stories. I reminded him there are consequences for his actions. I also told him I forgave him and God will always forgive him. This is called grace. He had no idea what I was talking about but I was happy we were able to have this conversation.
I was reminded God’s grace is always there for me. When I lose my patience as a parent. When I make stupid mistakes. God loves me no matter what.
“There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. There is nothing we can do to make God love us less.”- What’s So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey
God also loves you. All you have to do is believe he died and rose again for you and accept His love. You may have done horrible things in your life. You might be struggling with an illness that makes you feel unlovable. You may be mad at God for letting you suffer. You may hate yourself. You might think you don’t deserve to live. I have felt all these things. There is help. I love you. God loves you.
No matter what you are struggling with you are not the only one. I thought I was the only one who had scary, disturbing thoughts come into my head. Turns out a lot of people struggle with this. I thought I was the only mom who felt like I had no idea what I was doing. Apparently most moms feel this way. I thought I was the only one who fought with her husband more after having a kid. Okay, I didn’t really think that but I had no idea how differently we would feel about parenting. Our relationship has improved as we’ve realized men and women think differently. Dan can’t read my mind. He doesn’t think the same way as me and that’s okay. It’s important to communicate with each other. I know our generation kind of sucks at this but it is very important. Don’t be afraid to talk about your struggles. Feeling overwhelmed and wanting a break from your kids doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. Every human has something they struggle with. This is okay. You are human. You are loved.
I love you so much, my mini-me
Even though coughing sometimes makes me pee
Playing with you is such a delight
Even if you sometimes start a fight
My son is so very smart
One kiss from you warms my heart
I love how often we get fresh air
Even if I’m dressed like an episode of What Not to Wear
I love to watch you learn new things
So much joy a toddler brings
You keep my heart beating in my chest
I am truly very blessed