Last night I was looking through a journal I wrote in around the time I was in the partial hospitalization program when I was diagnosed with OCD.  I wrote down something Dan said to me and it made me so happy to read it again.

“If I could have seen into the future on our first date and saw all the struggles we’d go through, I would have still married you.  You make me happy.”- The Best Husband Ever

I’m sure neither of us thought four years after we were married I would seriously be considering suicide.   I don’t think either of us ever thought I’d be diagnosed with OCD.  It makes me so happy to know Dan loves me in spite of my flaws.  He loves being with me and doesn’t think I’m too crazy.  He does start getting all logical when I tell him about my plans to take everyone in but I guess we balance each other out.

I’m so thankful I have a husband who tries to understand what I’m going through.  It can be hard to explain and I don’t like to talk about it so that can make it more difficult.  He reminds me I am a good mom and a good wife.  I didn’t used to believe him.  I would think, the house is a mess, I haven’t cooked a real dinner in a week, how could I be a good wife?  He reminds me he married me because he loved me not because of my cooking skills.  Good thing because he would have been sorely disappointed.  And he likes to cook so I decided to stop feeling bad that I don’t like to cook. 

We have so much fun together.  We love watching movies and shows together.  Dan loves to cook breakfast for M.J. and me.  I love it when he cooks breakfast.  I am not a morning person and I hate cooking so I would normally just have a bagel or cereal for breakfast.  Dan isn’t a morning person either but he likes cooking so he will often make yummy breakfasts.  I am so blessed to be married to him.  I’m so thankful God put him in my life.  He is my best friend and I will love him forever.

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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