The other day I noticed many leaves are still in many different stages of changing.  There are the green leaves that haven’t changed color yet; the orange ones that are changing color; and the brown ones that completely changed.  This made me think people go through so many different stages in life.

Some people may go through certain things faster than others.  Some people go through things slower than others.  When I was 23, I thought, I’m never going to get married and have kids.  Now, I think that was a ridiculously young age to be thinking that.  But just because you are the same age as someone else doesn’t mean you need to be at the same stage as them.  You don’t need to feel bad if you feel people who are younger than you are “farther along” in life than you.  If you think I haven’t gone to college and this person has it can just keep going on a slippery slope.  That person has a bachelor’s degree.  Now I have a bachelor’s degree.  That person has a master’s degree.  Now I have a master’s degree.  That person has a doctorate.  Now I have a doctorate.  That persons has two doctorates… oh shoot!  By the way, whoever that person is must really like learning.  But you get my point, there will always be someone who has done more in a certain part of life than you have.  Don’t get discouraged because people move at different paces.

Leaves changing, lives changing

People go through different phases

When you start comparing it doesn’t stop

It can be completely over the top

The pace you’re at is right for you

Do the best that you can do

There are successful people who did not go to college.  There are unsuccessful people with doctorates.  Also, as I mentioned in one of my previous posts, there are many different kinds of success. http://www.snugglesandstruggles.com/indexphp/2020/10/05/many-kinds-of-success   Some people get married when they’re 18, some people get married when they’re 40, there’s no right answer.  You may be sad because all your friends seem to be having kids and it is taking you much longer.  It’s okay, even if you have one kid you may think… Can I have another one?  Should I have another one?  I know M.J. would really like having a sibling but having two kids sounds extremely hard.  Being pregnant while having another child to take care of sounds extremely hard.   I often wonder if I could handle this.  Then, I think this is ridiculous because some people have 5 (or more) kids.  I know I’m definitely not going to do that but I wonder should we have another one?  Should we adopt?  Parenting is way harder than I thought it would be, can I parent a kid who’s been through trauma? 

It is so difficult because I want to help everyone and I know if I only have one kid to give attention to I will have more time for volunteering, starting a non-profit, helping everyone in the world (just kidding, I guess).  But I also want my son to have someone to play with. 

If you’re not at the stage in life you expected to be right now that’s okay.  I thought when I was 30 I would have a big family and a successful career.  I have neither of those and I’m okay with that.  I don’t want a big family anymore (unless it comes with a nanny).  Sometimes I feel discouraged that I don’t have a career but I am so blessed to be able to spend so much time with M.J.  I wanted to start preschool this year but we decided not to because of Covid and he wasn’t really potty-trained.  Because I am able to be home with him I have been trying to teach him things through play.  He really likes learning if it’s play-based because he loves playing.  I’m also thankful when Covid started I didn’t have to work from home.  I found it very difficult to entertain M.J.  I can’t imagine how working parents did it.  I’m very impressed with them.  Don’t compare your life to someone else’s.  People move at different paces and that’s okay.

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”- 1st Corinthians 12:27 NIV

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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