Why do I feel so stressed?

I am undoubtedly very blessed

Is potty training more stressful than the newborn stage?

Or is 3 just a very stubborn age?

I’m happy I again can roam

But I got so used to staying home

It’s great to see my friends again

I feel so busy I just can’t win

Overwhelming is how I would describe this year

I’ve definitely cried a lot of tears

Managing time would help a lot

I want to do everything, I just can’t stop

I need to slow down and take deep breaths

And write this poem about being stressed

I have been feeling stressed out lately.  I guess maybe I am a little burnt out.  I didn’t like being in quarantine; I found it very difficult to stay home and entertain M.J. all day.  I have been very excited to start seeing people again and I think M.J. has been even more excited.

But, I kind of got used to not having any plans or anywhere to go.  I liked being able to spend a lot more time with my husband.  Now, I want to be social again but I am starting to feel overwhelmed.  Most of my volunteer opportunities started up again which is great but I feel like I have so many commitments.  And there are so many friends and family with so many crazy schedules that I want to be able to spend time with.  I also feel like I shouldn’t go anywhere if I feel sick at all but I seem to always have a cough and I can’t stay home forever.

I also feel that because things are opening up I should think about different ways to help people.  Should I start trying to start a non-profit?  Should I get a part-time job so I can donate money?  Or so I can save up money to help people with different things?  It can be so hard because I want to help everyone but I know that is not possible.  I’ve seen so many things lately that talk about not being afraid of what God has called you to do.  But, I have no idea what He has called me to do.  I know He wants me to help people but who? And how?

I’ve also been stressed out with potty training M.J.  I feel like I can’t do anything else because I want to remember to take him to the bathroom.  If I start doing things around the house I’m worried I’ll forget and he will pee his pants.  He also is not a big fan of potty training but he has actually started doing it which is a relief but I wonder how long it will take.  Potty training is very stressful to me.  Sometimes I wonder if I started too late (Although, I did try to start earlier and he was not having it).  I wonder how long it will take him to be completely potty trained during the day.  I don’t really care about night time and he still seems to pee a lot at night.  Also, I was a bed-wetter until like 4th or 5th grade and I think that might be genetic.

It’s also OCD Awareness Week.  I feel like I should write another blog post or poem about OCD but I haven’t really thought of anything to write.  Although writing out all these feelings has helped a little with my stress.  I want to remind you it’s okay to be stressed.  It’s okay if you are struggling with depression or anxiety.  It’s okay if you are struggling with any other mood disorder.  These are difficult times right now.  But try to find different things that help you cope.  Writing really helps me.  Going for a walk outside really helps me.  Sometimes just talking helps me.  Try to figure out what helps you.  But remember it’s okay to be stressed out.  Especially during these crazy times.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalms 46:1 NLT

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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