M.J. and I have watched a Charlie Brown movie a lot recently.  One of the episodes is the Halloween one and in the other one Snoopy performs a magic show.  In the magic show Snoopy makes Charlie Brown invisible and it takes him a few days to figure out how to turn him back.  Charlie Brown is invisible this whole time.  This made me think, have you ever felt invisible?  Have you ever wanted to be invisible?  Have you thought maybe life would be better that way?

“There’s no place in this world for someone who’s invisible.  I’m doomed to walk the world as a lost soul.”- Charlie Brown in It’s Magic! Charlie Brown

Have you ever felt invisible?  Have you been in a room full of people but felt like no one sees you?  Or maybe no one understands you?  Maybe you are struggling with an “invisible illness.”  You feel that you can’t tell people you’re depressed because they will judge you.  Or maybe they will ask why.  I often asked myself that question.  How could I be depressed when I have such a good life?  Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain.  Yes, trauma can trigger the chemical imbalance but that is not always the case.  Maybe you don’t tell people about your trouble with anxiety because you know it is irrational.  Maybe you don’t tell people about your OCD because you are ashamed of your intrusive thoughts.  I didn’t want to tell anyone I was struggling because I felt like I shouldn’t be struggling.  I needed to help everyone else.  I can’t be a burden to anyone else.  I still like helping people but I have learned I shouldn’t try to be invisible.  If I don’t take care of myself I’m not giving my best when I help others.

You also may have told others but still felt invisible.  If they tell you depression and anxiety aren’t real things and tell you to just “be happy” and “not worry.”  Oh, well you know, I hadn’t tried that!  Try to find someone who will listen to you.  Struggling with mood disorders is very hard.  A therapist is a great person to talk to but it can also be helpful to have a friend who is encouraging to you. Try to find things that help you and let your friend know what they can do to help.  Sometimes you don’t know what will help and maybe you just want your friend to be with you.  You also may not want your friend to be with you but if you are very depressed isolating yourself can make it worse.  Different things work for different people.  If your friend tells you crafts help with her depression don’t feel bad if crafts make your depression worse. I’m horrible at crafts; it’s the last thing I want to do when I’m feeling depressed.  I love writing, it helps me to write out my feelings or write poems but I know a lot of people don’t like writing.  Some people like running, I do not like running.  Although, going for a walk outside really helps me and I think going outside and getting Vitamin D from the sun helps most people.  Try to find what works for you.  If you’re feeling very depressed and want to relax try watching a funny show.  Funny shows often seem to help me feel a little better.  Remember mood disorders are a real thing and you don’t have to hide them.  You are not invisible.  You don’t need to be invisible.  You are loved.

Walking down the street

Someone runs into me

They say nothing at all

Could I, maybe, blend in with the wall?

Can anyone see me?

Do I want them to see me?

If invisible I stay

They won’t know I’m not okay

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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