Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough?  Not a good enough mom.  Not a good enough wife.  Not good enough at your job.  Not pretty enough.  Not thin enough.  Just not enough.  I have felt like this a lot.  Yesterday and today I’ve felt like a crappy mom.  M.J. has not been listening and it has been very stressful.  I will think, why isn’t he listening to me?  Am I a bad mom?  Am I not being consistent enough with discipline? Have I been letting him watch too much TV?  I am always questioning myself, especially my parenting.  I often feel like I’m not a good mom but I need to remember I’m doing my best.  And no one expected to parent during a pandemic.  I need to remember to find my identity in God.  This is much easier said than done.  How could God love me?  I’m just a crazy lady who has no idea how to parent.  But He does love me.  He loves me so much; I just need to accept it.

 “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough.  Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up.  Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?  Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know.”- You Say by Lauren Daigle

I love this song so much.  It reminds me that God loves me no matter what.  Even when I feel like I’m not good enough.  Even when I feel like I’m unworthy of love.  Even when I feel like a crappy mom.  Even when I feel depressed.  No matter what I am struggling with God loves me so much.  I can sometimes get stuck in the comparison game.  I will think why can’t I have the patience that mom has?  Why can’t I have the body that mom has?  Why can’t I have the motivation that mom has?  Why can’t I be good at everything like that person is?  Why can’t I have beautiful skin like that person?  Everyone has things they struggle with.  No matter what you change about yourself there will still be someone who you think is “better” than you.  Try to think of things that you like about yourself.  I know it can be hard if you are very depressed at the moment.  I find it helpful to read Psalms or Song of Solomon; these books of the Bible reminded me how beautiful I am and how much God loves me.  Listening to encouraging music is also helpful for me.  One thing I like about myself is that I’m very empathetic and I love to help people.

“You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing.  You say I am strong when I think I am weak.  And you say I am held when I am falling short.  When I don’t belong, oh, You say I am Yours.”- You Say by Lauren Daigle

No matter how depressed I am, no matter how much I’m struggling with parenting, God loves me so much.  It’s okay to try to better yourself.  We all have things we need to work on.  I don’t take criticism well; I really need to work on that.  Maybe because I am very critical of myself it hurts my feelings when people give me criticism even if it’s constructive.  But bettering yourself and hating yourself are not the same thing.  It’s okay to love yourself.  It is important to love yourself.  God wants you to love yourself.  He made us in His image and He thinks we are beautiful.  I know, it can be very hard to love yourself.  You may be struggling with a disease or a disorder.  You may regret mistakes you made in the past.  You may have done horrible things.  You may have had horrible things done to you.  You may have had people treat you like you don’t deserve to be loved.  People may have told you that you don’t deserve to be loved.  When I was struggling so badly with OCD I didn’t think anyone could love me.  I couldn’t love myself and I didn’t think anyone else should love me either.  I felt like a horrible person.  If you struggle with OCD you’re not a bad person; you have a disorder.  No matter what you are struggling with God loves you.  I love you, too.  You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved.  You are enough.

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.”- Song of Solomon 4:7 NLT

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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