The other day while M.J. was playing on his sit and spin it made me think about spinning out of control.  When we have anxiety I think it can often feel like our brains are spinning out of control.  With OCD it can feel like our thoughts are spinning out of control.  I was reminded that no matter how I feel God is always with me.  But if He loves me why would He let me struggle?  I have definitely thought this before.  Then I get mad at myself for being selfish because so many other people have worse lives than mine.  God does care for you. It hurts Him to see you struggle but He sees the bigger picture.  We can’t see the bigger picture.  Sometimes we go through struggles to bring us closer to God.  Sometimes we go through struggles so we can help other people who have gone through similar things.  Sometimes we never know why we went through a certain struggle but remember God always loves you.  No matter what has happened to you.  No matter what you have done God always loves you.

“Read the Bible from the table of contents in the front to the maps in the back, and you will not find any promise of a pain-free life on this side of death.”- You are Never Alone by Max Lucado, p. 31

I have been struggling lately.  The fact that we don’t know who the president is yet is stressing me out.  It frustrates me that a person so many people look up to would say people are “committing fraud”.  A lot of people just take what the president says at face value.  When he starts having conspiracy theories people who don’t understand how the voting process works will agree with him with no proof at all.  I’m stressed out because I feel like no matter who wins the election our country will still be divided.  Dan reminds me the Earth is not our final destination.  Our final destination is in heaven.  He told me no matter what happens- even if there’s another civil war- God is always with us. 

“But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives.  And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.”- Philippians 3:20 NLT

I sometimes get anxiety about raising my son in this world.  People are so mean.  It seems like people don’t know how to disagree peacefully anymore.  And there’s so much misinformation out there.  Especially on social media.  Someone will read something and think, that’s ridiculous! And they will share it without doing their research.   I normally don’t pay attention to politics which I used to feel guilty about but I realized it’s a form of self-care.  It’s okay to avoid things that give you unnecessary anxiety.  I don’t watch the news because it stresses me out.  I just ask Dan to tell me the important things.  He is not as emotional as I am so he doesn’t mind watching the news.  And the math of counting votes seems to really excite him (I love my nerdy husband).

I know there are many people struggling with anxiety today.  Life is crazy with the Corona Virus and Election all happening right now.  I can’t imagine being a teacher right now.  Or a parent who has kids in school.  Some schools switched back to online school which I’m sure is very difficult for parents.  I don’t know how a parent would work from home and do all the schooling and Zoom meetings with their kids, too.  I’m getting stressed out just thinking about it.  Hopefully we’re done with the Pandemic when M.J. goes to school.  It’s okay to struggle with Anxiety.  It’s okay to struggle with any mood disorder.  Don’t be ashamed to go to therapy or take medication.  With everything going on right now it would probably be a good idea for everyone to go to therapy.  But remember God loves you.  He is always with you.  God loves you even when the world is spinning out of control.

Spinning, spinning, spinning

Am I ever winning?

Spinning out of control

Will I ever reach my goal?

Life is really crazy

My mind’s a little hazy

No matter how it goes

There is help for all your woes

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Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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