Last night, M.J. was playing a game where we had to “pew” many different creatures: giant robot spiders and monsters mostly.  We were using a gun he made out of blocks.  The gun would “run out of power” sometimes.  To put more power in the gun, M.J. hit the top of it.  I thought, it would be so nice if we could get rid of the spiders and monsters in our lives that easily.

We all have many different problems in our lives; some are big and some are small.  I think moms of young children are often exhausted.  M.J. is a pretty good sleeper, but I still feel exhausted most of the time.  I wish there was something I could press to automatically get more “power.”  It would be so nice to have an endless supply of energy.  I have often asked M.J. to give some of his energy to me.  I guess, the only way to get that much energy is to be 27 years younger.  I would consider being exhausted a minor problem, but I guess it can lead to many other problems, too.  Being tired can affect our mood and our overall health.

I would consider having Depression, Anxiety, and OCD big problems.  OCD can be especially distressing to me.  I wish I could just press something that would take my OCD away.  Sadly, this is not possible.  Managing my OCD takes work.  It was impossible for me to manage it before I was diagnosed.  It has gotten much easier now that I have medication and regular appointments with my therapist.  I have learned different coping mechanisms, but living with OCD can be hard. My faith in God has also been very helpful to me.  I used to pray for my intrusive thoughts to go away, but that is not helpful, and can become a compulsion.  I have sometimes asked God to heal me of my OCD, but He has chosen not to.  Normally, instead of asking for healing, I ask for God to help me deal with my illness better.  He has answered my prayers.  I will sometimes struggle with OCD, but it is much better than it used to be.  I haven’t seriously considered suicide in a long time.  I am able to enjoy the little things in life.  I love spending time with my friends and family.  God has also provided me with many supportive friends.  They do not believe faith and mental health are mutually exclusive.  I have a church and a small group that recognize mood disorders as real things and don’t just tell me to “pray it away.”  I’m so thankful for all the friends I’ve been blessed with.

I think God has chosen to not to heal my OCD so I can help people who are going through similar things.  If you are struggling with any mood disorder don’t be afraid to get help.  If you are feeling suicidal, please get help before it’s too late.  Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

What are the spiders or monsters in your life?  You may have many different things you struggle with.  That’s okay.  I wish I could make you feel better as easily as M.J. put more “power” in his gun, but, sadly, life doesn’t normally work that way.  Whatever, you are struggling with, you are not alone.  If you are struggling with Depression, OCD, or Anxiety, I am, too.  You can talk to me if you need support.  If you are suffering from a traumatic past, you are also not the only one.  I have been blessed to not have a traumatic past, but I am still willing to listen and pray.   Whatever you are struggling with, you are not the only one.  Don’t be afraid to talk about your struggles.  Many people are afraid to talk about their struggles so you may not realize other people are going through similar things.  One of my friends in my life group shared about a very tough time she had with Anxiety.  After she shared this, I felt more comfortable talking to her about my Depression and Anxiety.  (It can still be difficult for me to talk about my specific OCD themes, even with my therapist).  After my friend shared her struggle with Anxiety, I finally decided to make an appointment with a therapist.  I had been thinking about talking to a therapist for a few years, but I hadn’t for many reasons.  I’m so thankful I made that first appointment.  Therapy has helped me quite a bit.

No matter what you are going through, there is help.  It’s not normally as easy as hitting the top of the gun and getting “more power,” but there is help.  If you are feeling very depressed, don’t be afraid to ask for help.  No matter what you are struggling with, you should tell someone.  Most people feel like they’re the only one, but they’re not.  I thought I was the only one who has scary, unwanted thoughts come into my head, but I’m not.  Lots of people have OCD.  Many people are undiagnosed for a long time because they are afraid to tell anyone.  I didn’t tell anyone for 10 years because I felt like a horrible person.  I am not the only person who has my OCD theme.  Many people have it.  There are many different OCD themes, it’s okay if you are struggling.  If you’d like to read more about certain OCD themes read this post http://www.snugglesandstruggles.com/index.php/2020/12/02/drowning-in-snakes/.  Always remember, you are loved.  You matter.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.  Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35 NLT

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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