We recently had to make the tough decision to put our dog, Jake down.  Dan noticed he had a sore in his mouth so we took him to the vet.  The vet said it was a growth, but he would probably be able to take it out with surgery.  When they started doing the surgery they noticed there was a lot more cancer than they thought.  They weren’t sure if they would be able to get it all out.  If they were able to get it all out they would have had to remove most of his jaw so it would be very fragile; he would probably break it just trying to eat his food.  Since we knew he would continue to be in a lot of pain, we decided the most humane thing would be to put him down.  He is ten years old so we knew it would happen eventually, but it is still difficult. 

My family didn’t really have pets growing up.  I never really liked dogs.  Honestly, I was kind of afraid of them.  When I came over to Dan’s house for the first time, I was a little afraid of Jake.  It didn’t take too long for me to overcome that fear.  Jake didn’t bark or jump; he was a very laidback dog.  He was so loving.  I became very attached to him.  He is the first pet I have lost.  Well, I guess we had fish when I was in middle school or high school and they must have died, but I wasn’t very attached to them.  Jake had such a loving personality.  I felt bad we didn’t notice the growth in his mouth sooner, but he had been eating his food regularly and seemed to be in good spirits.  I’m so glad, he was able to enjoy his last days.

M.J. had recently started loving to give Jake treats. He wanted to give him multiple treats a day.  I normally let him give him one treat (sometimes two), but he would have given Jake treats all day if we let him.  It was so cool seeing them “become friends”.  M.J. would often say, “Jakey is my friend.” It was so sweet.  It has been difficult telling M.J. about his death because he doesn’t understand.  I did find this article helpful, though http://www.whattoexpect.com/kids-and-pets/losing-a-pet.aspx.  He has asked about Jake and we have had to tell him multiple times, “Jakey’s gone,” “Jakey’s dead”.  It is nice that his lack of understanding makes him less sad, but it can make Dan and me sadder when M.J. keeps asking about him.

I keep thinking, I need to let Jake out, I need to feed him, Where’s Jake?  Then, I remember he’s not here anymore.  I used to take him for a walk to the mailbox most afternoons.  I’m going to miss those walks with him.  I’m going to miss M.J. giving him multiple treats a day.  I’m going to miss his love and affection.  However; we have had many fun memories with him.  I’m so thankful for the years we had with him.  It is hard to lose him, but I’m glad he’s no longer in pain.

Losing a pet is extremely hard

Knowing there’ll be no more walks around the yard

Looking for him in his spot

And remembering there he is not

I never knew I could love a dog so much

I miss the fur we used to touch

Even though I miss him a lot

I’m so thankful his pain has stopped

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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