M.J. has liked the book, Happy Birthday to You by Dr. Seuss recently.  There is a part that says if you hadn’t been born you might be a wasn’t (paraphrasing).  This is obviously just silly rhyming, but this part made me think, how often have I felt like a “wasn’t”?

I have had low self-esteem for most of my life.  It has gotten a lot better lately; my therapist has helped me a lot.  Learning to have grace with myself has helped me.  Learning everyone struggles with something.  Even the “hot mom” who fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans three months after giving birth.  I have learned it’s okay to be myself. It’s okay that I’m weird and a little socially awkward sometimes.  I mean, I think I have gotten less socially awkward, but I will still overthink sometimes: Was that a weird thing to say?  Did I share too much?  Do these people think I’m crazy?  But I have learned not to care about it too much.  I am a little weird and a little socially awkward and that’s okay.  I mean, who isn’t socially awkward these days?  I have learned I don’t need to care too much what people think about me.  Yes, I think it’s important to be kind, but you don’t have to change your personality for people to like you.  If you feel like you have to change for people to like you, then they are not real friends.  Yes, we should always be trying to better ourselves, but bettering ourselves doesn’t mean changing our personality.  It’s okay if you’re a quiet person, it’s okay if you’re a loud person.  It’s okay if you’re interested in sports, it’s okay if you’re interested in board games.  You don’t need to be embarrassed to tell people what you’re interested in.  If they judge you, that is their issue, not yours.

“Today you are you!  That is truer than true!  There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”- Happy Birthday to You by Dr. Seuss

I think it is so important to be ourselves.  We are all different; if we were all the same, life would be pretty boring.  I try to remind M.J. that I like him just the way he is.  Of course, I don’t like it when he is not listening or having an attitude, but I love him no matter what.  I love M.J. so much just because he’s my son.  I am a flawed human.  If I love my son so much, imagine how much a perfect God loves me.  God loves me so much just because I am His daughter.  It hurts Him when I stray from Him, but He loves me no matter what.  God loves you, too.  No matter what.  You don’t have to change your personality for God to love you.  You shouldn’t have to change your personality for people to love you either.   

It is important to see yourself the way God sees you.  I don’t believe in always putting yourself first, but I do believe it is important to love yourself.  Self-care is important; it is not selfish.  I have often felt unworthy of love.  How could anyone love me if I can’t even love myself?  I have felt unworthy of love, but God loves me no matter what.  There’s nothing I can do to make God love me more and there’s nothing I can do to make God love me less.  God cares about my heart; He knows I love Him even when I make mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  Some people may feel that their mistakes are too great for God to forgive, but they’re not.  God forgives anyone who asks for it, the hard part is asking.  Jesus gave His life for our sin. He gave His life so we can look to him for perfection, not ourselves.

There could be other reasons you feel unworthy of love.  Maybe people have treated you horribly.  Maybe people have made you feel unworthy of love.  Someone may have even told you that you don’t deserve love.  These are all lies!  No matter what you struggle with God loves you.  Everyone struggles with something.  For a long time, my OCD made me feel unworthy of God’s love, but I’m not.  Jesus has made everyone worthy of God’s love.  My intrusive, obsessive thoughts made me feel like a horrible person.  I’m not a horrible person, I have a disorder.  If you struggle with a mood disorder, an addiction, a traumatic past, anything, you are loved.  No matter how much you hate yourself, God loves you.  It is okay to love yourself, too.  God loves you just the way you are.  You aren’t a wasn’t.

“I like you!  I like you!  I like you just the way you are!”- Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and Mister Roger’s Neighborhood

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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