Do you ever feel like a crappy mom?  No?  Me neither…. Just kidding!   Today has been a rough parenting day for me.  I feel like my kid doesn’t listen or respect me.  But he also wants me to play with him all the time.  Why would I want to play with him when he’s being a brat?  It’s like he has the attitude of a teenager with the clinginess of a toddler.  This morning, he was mad I wouldn’t let him come to the bathroom with me (I know, mean mom) so he locked the bathroom door and shut it.  Both of us were on the outside of the locked door.  The door was impossible to unlock from the outside so Dan had to take the doorknob off and put a new one on.  I sent one of my friends a video message and told her M.J. was being a brat.  Because he was in the room, I spelled it instead of saying it.  I thought to myself, if I’m going to spell it anyway, maybe I could use a stronger word than that.  I didn’t use a stronger word, but that’s how upset I was. 

It can be discouraging when M.J. has an attitude.  I will wonder what I am doing wrong.  Am I disciplining him enough?  Am I disciplining the right way?  Am I giving him enough attention? All day, every day is enough, right?  Am I being a good example for him?  Have I had a bad attitude lately?  Have I let him watch too much TV? and on and on and on…

I think we often second-guess ourselves as parents, especially as moms.  Should I stay home?  Should I go to work?  What is the right way to do everything?  However; we need to remember the answer is not the same for everyone.  People parent differently than each other and that’s okay.  What works for one child does not always work for another child.  Kids have different personalities and kids struggle with things just like adults do.  I know Covid has been hard for M.J.  If he had his way, we’d leave the house or have people over every day.  I know that he craves social interaction, but it’s so hard having to play with him all day long.  Also, it’s not possible to play with him all day long so that makes it difficult.  This morning he asked me to play “good guys and bad guys” with him.  I said, “Yes, I just love games with guns and shooting people.” M.J. doesn’t understand my sarcasm.  Lately, when I have played with him, he is so bossy and wants everything to go exactly his way.  I feel like I don’t know how to parent, why is my kid so bossy?  I guess it’s just a part of being a 3 year old, but I want to make sure he is nice when he plays with his friends.  I’m sure I’m just overthinking and my kid is just being a toddler, but it can be overwhelming.  I’m trying to remind myself to look to God for perfection, not myself.  I am not perfect, but God is.  My son is not perfect, but God is.  I need to remember to have grace with my son and myself.

Even though, M.J. has been challenging lately, he has also had some sweet moments.  This morning, when he woke up he wanted to cuddle on the couch.  He was just laying on me and I was rubbing his back.  He is a very active kid so he doesn’t always like to cuddle lately.  I was reminded this morning how blessed I am with my son.  Tonight, Dan, M.J. and I were watching a Batman cartoon together. We were all cuddling on the couch as a family.  It was so cute to see Dan and M.J. cuddling together. 

If you are struggling with parenting right now, you are not alone.  So many kids are stressed out with the Pandemic and they act their worst with the people they are most comfortable with.  Parenting is hard.  Parenting during a pandemic is harder.  No matter what your struggle is, I guarantee you are not the only one.  It’s normal to feel overwhelmed right now.  It’s okay to ask for help.  There is always more grace.  I love you.  God loves you.  You’re a good mom.

Published by rachel.ermutlu@gmail.com

Christian. Wife. Mom. I just want to share my journey of motherhood and let struggling moms know they're not alone. I enjoy reading, playing board games, spending time with friends and family, and volunteering in the community.

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